l know it's been a minute y'all, but I've been on a journey that's been trying to break my spirit and I just be wanting to square up with my feelings.
I got a part-time job. It's cool. Pays the bills. I can get out of the house instead of being inside and going crazy. But, ya girl is still on a search for the HR job that will kick-start her career.
I got my own spot! *Imagine Ari Lennox's "New Apartment" playing as I dance like Tina from Bob's Burgers. Now also imagine be excitedly throwing it back to "WAP". * Yes, bruh. Ya girl has her own place and it's the first time I've completely without roommates. It feels great. The moving was disrespectful because I could've sworn I didn't have that much stuff, but the days of boob sweat and burning glutes from going up and down stairs proved otherwise.
I started school, AGAIN (2x). Yeah you read that right. I'm finishing my last semester in the masters program and beginning my first semester of the PhD program. Did I also mention I have a part-time job? :/ Maaaaaan, I have never ordered some many books and been in so many meetings in my life. But you already know this ain't no issue for me! I'm built for it and I KNOW the God favors me. PLUS, I finish the masters program in December and will be a 3 degrees shawty! I'm just going to have days where I look a hot mess and have drank two bottles of wine. And that's my business.
Finances have been pilling up since I made the big girl decision to live alone. Rent, food, electricity, streaming, car notes, car insurance, renters insurance, etc. Paying all that by yourself is truly ghetto. Who tf made paying for things a thing. Don't make me go on my rant about how money and "this-for-that" is a made-up concept and should be abolished! But that's not what this here blog is for....today.
I also saw a therapist (virtually) for the first time. It was cool. It was refreshing to get things out. I definitely want to continue therapy, but I'm not sure yet if it's with the same person. I didn't like how it started off with the "I went to an HBCU and you went to PWI" banter. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand the jokes and participate in it all the time. But it was just not the time and didn't feel right. Like girl! You supposed to be here to help me better understand my emotions and deal with trauma, not convince me that I "made a mistake." BUT therapy is great y'all. I was hesitant and actually almost didn't do it. I'm glad I did because now I want to do more. Hopefully, my healthcare (or lack there of) will allow me to.
I updated y'all to say life is expensive, hard, and truly beautiful. Once I started to embrace my struggles and take things day by day, I started feeling better. I pray more. I enjoy life more. I worry less about those ignorant bills because I started to claim victory more. I'm starting to take more control over my crazy life and I'm loving the outcome. Baby go out and tell people who you are and that the many obstacles the world throws at you are nothing compared to the rewards waiting for you. Remember, God said the weapons wouldn't prosper. He didn't say they wouldn't form.
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